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Questions and Answers These are some of the most commonly asked questions: Should I talk with my child about his father and I divorcing? Of course you should. However, it is often difficult to find the right words. Never speak negatively about your (ex) spouse. Remember that you are the one getting divorced not your child. Your child will always love both parents. Assure your child that he/she will continue to see your ex regularly (unless this is ill advised). There are some great children's books which you and your child can read together to help them better understand the process of divorce. My husband and I have fallen into a rut. We just never seem to make time for eachother and as a result we never make love anymore. How can we change? While there are no simple answers to this commonly asked question there are things you can do. It is essential that couples "make time" for themselves. Go out for dinner or to a movie alone or spend a night at a motel to rekindle the flame. My husband just doesn't seem to be interested in having sex with me. He's always tired. Is it me? This is a hard one for me to answer if I don't know the in's and out's of your relationship. However, men not wanting to have sex is a very common complaint (believe it or not). Many individuals suffer from what is known as inhibited sexual desire. Ordinarily, this problem is not the other partner's fault and is very amenable to treatment. I keep dating the same kind of guys and they all turn out to be jerks. Am I doomed? No you're not doomed …just spinning your wheels. I suggest you look at the similarities between all the men. Ask yourself what is initially so attractive about them and if this can be part of the problem. Often times, we are repeating patterns (even destructive ones) as a way of working through self-related issues. Feel free to e-mail your questions to Dr. Goschi, some of which (with permission) will be published in this newsletter. Keep on smilin! Barbara@drgoschi.com